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Double “S” Curve

Most of you probably don’t know this about me, but I have scoliosis. It was discovered when I was about 10 years old during a routine school screening. From then on it was monitered. I’ve been given exercises to do, tried weight lifting, yoga, massage and chiropractic care. I was told I have a double “s” curve type of scoliosis with idiopathic origins. Which means my spine twisting around on multiple axi, and it started just because.

At different times in my life, I’ve had to take both over the counter and narcotic pain killers, muscle relaxers, alcohol, and/or Marijuana to help me cope with the pain. I have tried massage therapy and chiropractic care. I’ve considered braces, surgery and most recently, corsets. Most of those only offer short term relief, quite a few are moderately to extremely expensive, and several are worse for my health than the benefit I would receive from the therapy in the form of pain relief.

Obviously, massage and chiropractic care, coupled with a flexible brace offer my best hope of allowing me to age with maximum flexibility and grace. But a flexible brace is thousands of dollars, and massage therapy and chiropractic care would be even more expensive in the long run. And i dont have insurance other than the VA. The VA will only see me for care related to the injury I received in training that led to my medical discharge,  the VA hospital is an hour away, and it can take months to get an appointment.

Scoliosis has been such a major part of my life for so long that there is a constant low level of pain that I barely even recognize most days.

But not today. I’ve been pushing myself pretty hard physically¬† and emotionally lately. When I do that every once in a while my neck kinks up, and suddenly I can’t turn my head for a few days. Work grindit, s to a stop while I hold myself rigid and try to relax.

I am just about 10 days away from being 34 years old. I’m worried I won’t be much of a homesteader in a few years as my back ages faster than the rest of my body. What will I be able to offer my family, my husband, when I can’t even carry a bucket of water to our livestock or change a propane tank when the heat runs out in middle of the afternoon when my husbeast is at work?

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I don’t know what to do. I wish I had medical insurance. The kind that offered me the therapies I need, not just the ones that are the most profitable to the insurance company. I wish I could afford to take care of my body.

I wish I lived in a country that wanted to keep its citizens healthy, and not worry as much about keeping wall street’s bottom line healthy.

I wish my back didn’t hurt today.

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